3 Steps to Overcome Pushback in Salary Negotiation

Jamie Lee  
Hey, y'all, I have a free gift for you, I put together a really fun, a super quick online quiz that you can take in about two to five minutes. And this quiz will tell you which of the four leadership archetypes you are, it will tell you what your superpowers are, and how others see you. And you will get type specific tips and scripts on how you can improve your leadership effectiveness, your self efficacy, without sacrificing your authenticity is absolutely free. All you have to do is come to Jamie Lee coach.com. And at the end of the quiz, you will be asked to enter your email so that you can have the results and the tips emailed directly to you. Yes, this means you'll be subscribed to my weekly emails, but you can of course, unsubscribe at any time. The link is in the show notes. Here's the thing to know ahead of time, though. I want you to know you, my listener, you are a leader. I don't care whether you have zero persons reporting to you, or whether you're the SVP at a multinational conglomerate, and you're responsible for hundreds of employees. You are a leader? How do I know that you are a leader? Aside from the fact that you're listening to negotiate your career growth podcast, I know you're a leader because a leader regardless of their position, their title, their credentials, their gender, their ethnic and racial identity, their education, and the number of people looking to them for answers. Regardless of all of that a leader does two things that you have done, again, and again. And again. Number one, you have taken action you have gone first without knowing exactly how something gets done. And number two, you have come up with solutions that benefit others. Let me give you some examples from my own life. Let's go way back. Let's go way back to fourth grade when I was in the fourth grade in New Jersey, in my second year of ESL English as a Second Language classes. I was fresh off the plane, immigrant kid from South Korea, I had to translate from my parents when they wanted to dial remember dial up phones. We did that we dialed Con Edison. And we had questions about their electricity bills. I mean, my parents had those questions and I was asked to translate on their behalf. Because after two years of ESL, my English was better than my adult parents. I was going first I was a kid and I was going first without knowing what the heck I was doing. Yeah, I was a leader, leader in my adulthood. When I was a part time bookkeeper, I came up with these forms really simple spreadsheets, that were a no brainer for me. But you know, these forms, they ended up saving my clients, my clients were startup CEOs, they saved my clients hours and hours of time, I offer them a solution, a bookkeeping solution that benefited my clients and their businesses. To date, I have yet to be on any glossy magazine covers. If you want to invite me to be on glossy magazine cover, please reach out to me anytime. But regardless of that, I've been a leader, I am a leader. And so are you. And here are the questions to ask, Are you taking actions in the face of unknowns and uncertainty which let's face it are constants? Yes, you are? Are you suggesting ideas? Are you suggesting even small incremental steps that can improve things for people beside you? Yes, you are? Are you taking the lead in your professional life or as a family or community member? Yes, you are. So many of us but not all of us. We've all been exposed to patriarchal framing of leadership, we've all been exposed to thinking about leaders as men, right. And this is because patriarchy is different forms of patriarchy is have existed in many different countries, different societies, different communities for several millennia. Speaking of which, I have a really fun I have a really exciting, intellectually stimulating podcast interview. It's going to be really, really soon. And it's an interview with Angel Saedi. She's the author of the patriarchs how men came to roll and she debunks the myth. that men have always been in positions of leadership at home and public spheres and in different forms of religions. And she provides like eye opening archeological anthropological scientific data that shows it's not true that patriarchy has always been the quote unquote, way it is, or that, you know, having men in positions of leadership and power that it is natural by logical, traditional, or even divinely ordered. So please stay tuned for that. But in any case, I was saying, some of us who have been socialized, and some of us who identify ourselves as women, we've not been exposed to many examples of women in positions of public leadership, we are starting to see them. But when you think about the millennia of time, through which humanity has existed, right, 10,000, you know, many, many 1000s of years, when you think about the many, many 1000s of years that humanity has existed on this planet, it's really been a tiny blip in time, it's been about 150 years, that women have started to reclaim the right, the right to vote. Well, that's, that's a new, right, the right to work outside the home, to the right to have earned to spend to invest, to borrow our own money. This is all relatively new. And it's really been in the last few decades that women have become prime ministers, presidents, CEOs, pilots, military officers, lawyers, partners, and even priests. So of course, some of us struggle with seeing ourselves as leaders at work in the public sphere. And in the home, though thing I want to share about this, the thing that I want to emphasize is this online quiz. I know it's, it's, it's cute. It's fun, and I wrote it, but only the women I've personally known and coached. Right? So I intentionally made the quiz kind of fun. But the results, the specific tips and scripts I offer. You know, even though I use the word cute, like, I don't mean that in a demeaning way. I don't mean that in a diminishing way. Like, I mean, like, it's cute, because the experience of taking a quiz is going to be fun and light. But the results like when I think think about how I wrote the results, I'm thinking very specifically about women about women that I have personally known, the women I have personally coached. The woman I know is myself like, the results are, are all based on firsthand lived experiences, of knowing how powerful how resourceful a woman truly is. Yeah. So my invitation go check out the quiz. It's available at WWE dot J A M i e, l e c o ach.com. Jamie Lee coach.com. Today, I'm going to share a script, I gave one of my clients who's going to negotiate her salary. She is a thought leader in her field, she has amazing credentials. And she's making healthy sum of money. And you know, she wants to make more money because the value of her contributions are growing, right. And I offered a script to her and she found it very useful. And so I want to offer it to you as well. Now, my client was feeling a little thrown off, stuck, flustered, frustrated, because the the boss, her manager made a comment in the workplace. And she's like, I don't know how to respond to that. Yeah. And I think it's something that many of us, particularly women of color, minorities in the workplace is something that many of us could easily encounter. Okay, for for the other side, they might think, Oh, it's just a harmless comment. But for us, it's like, oh, it cuts deep. It's like, oh, that was not nice. Yeah. The boss said in a conversation that was outside the salary negotiation. The boss said, you make enough money. Right?

Jamie Lee  
I mean, on surface, it can feel harmless. But when you think about it, it could imply that she should just be grateful and okay with what she's making, which is so sexist. Don't even I can't even go there. I mean like, right. But if you have encountered something like this, right, this offhand comment that like throws you off. And you're like, I don't know, I don't know what to say to that. Because I want to have a different conversation, I want to have a productive conversation about the value of my contributions, and how I can be better compensated, right for the value that I'm bringing, right? If you you're like, I feel stuck, I don't know what to say. I have this script to offer you, it's actually three steps that I'm going to walk you through. Here's what was happening with my client when my client, after the boss said this, she naturally understandably started anticipating a future where she's negotiating her salary. And the boss makes the same comment that has her feeling oh, stuck, frustrated. Yeah. So here's what I offered her, and I'm offering it to you, as well, today, I invite you to try this on for size. Right, I invite you to even practice it out loud, rewrite it in a way that really feels resonant and useful authentic to you. And I invite you to as, as you hear me walk you through these three steps, I invite you to feel into how it shifts the energy and focus of the conversation. Okay, so here's what I offered her the three steps. If you get an offhand comment that sort of like brushes you off, right? Like, you make enough money, do this, take these three steps number one, just slightly, tiny bit Leanback. Number two, take a deep breath in, exhale, and say, you know, you're right, I do make enough money. But this isn't really about whether I make enough money. This is really about being compensated in a way that's commensurate with the level of value I bring. Can we have a conversation about that? I will repeat the steps. Number one, you're going to lean back, you're gonna take a deep breath, exhale, and then you say, you're right, I do make enough money. But this isn't about that this isn't about whether I make enough money. This is really about being compensated in a way that's commensurate with the level of value I bring. Can we have a conversation about that? So let's dive a little bit deeper, step by step. Why do you lean back? You're doing this for you. It's tiny. When I do this, I made a video of me doing this, you know, this exact script. And I will also link to that in the show notes. And you'll notice I'm not like leaning way back. It's just a tiny, tiny shift, a very subtle shift in it for you. It's to let you in your subconscious. No, no, we have a choice here. When people make comments like this. We don't have to get defensive. We don't have to be confrontational. We don't have to take that bait and get sucked into a no win argument. Yeah, it's like, no, I'm just gonna go into my zone of choice. And then number two, you're gonna take a deep breath in and you're going to exhale, right? It could just be a small breath. But take a deep breath in. And this is a great way to down regulate your nervous system. If you feel yourself going into flight fight, freeze mode, right? A stress reaction. Taking a breath is a way to take that power power back to reclaim your agency, your emotional agency, and your authority is a leader in your life and in your career. Okay, she's going to down regulate the nervous system, because I know sometimes these little comments if I perceive them as being passive aggressive, it can it can get under my skin can get me upset, but I'm like, No, we're not going to get upset. We're going to redirect this is number three, we're going to redirect the conversation to value the value of your professional contributions. And notice what I'm saying. I'm saying, You're right. I do make enough money. We're not gonna argue there. But this isn't really about enoughness. This is really about being compensated in a way on a way that's commensurate in a way that matches the level of value I bring. Can we have a conversation about that? So there you have it, number one, lean back number two, take a deep breath and exhale. Number three, say, you know, that's right. I do make enough money. But this isn't really about that this is really about being compensated in a way that matches the level of value I bring. Now, having said that, I want to share with you this delightful unsolicited shout out that I received during a free workshop I held in January, Jerry, she's a podcast listener, hello, Jerry. And she's a subscriber. And she said, I met my goal of negotiating a salary increase for myself with the help of resources that Jamie has shared. And I'm really proud of Jerry in this is a result that Jerry created after she did three things. Number one, she listened to this very podcast, negotiate your career growth. Number two, she took action on what most resonated with her. And number three, she improved her income by negotiating her salary. She did all of that, from this free podcast. So imagine what you could do from six months of learning, applying these career and income up leveling skills. Actually, don't imagine. Let's do you know, let's not call it the cold, hard math. Let's call it hot, sexy, easy. Ask yourself, what result would you need to create for the coaching to pay for itself? Of course, one obvious answer is that if your employer paid for the coaching, you know, getting your employer to pay for the coaching is something that you can negotiate, you wouldn't need to pay anything out of pocket. And this is exactly what happened to one of my clients. She is an Operations Director at a biotech company, and she gladly paid for coaching herself, because she really wanted to improve her working relationships. She then casually mentioned to her boss, like five months into coaching with me, she mentioned to her boss, boss that she was already working with me, her executive coach. And her boss directly acknowledged at this meeting that as a result of coaching, her ability to work with others had vastly improved. And then they offer to have the coaching fully reimbursed by the company. That was pretty cool. And sometimes my clients ask their employer to pay for the coaching ahead of time, right. And that's what so he did. And when so he decided to work with me, she was then as VP of Operations at a startup. And we worked on her strategy, her mid to long term strategy to get promoted into a CEO position at this same startup, and also secure a board position. And as soon as she decided to get coaching, she had that startup, pay for the coaching. And within few months of coaching with me, she got the verbal and written commitment directly from the CEO that what she wanted was what she was gonna get, which all did happen. Okay, so those are great wins. But if you're currently on a sabbatical, as some of my current clients are, they're on sabbaticals, and they, and they now want to get back into executive leadership positions, or if you're getting your current employer to, if the idea of getting your current employer to invest in coaching is not an option for you, if you don't want your current employer to know, then what if, as a result of coaching, you negotiated at least 10 or 20% increase in salary wherever you land it next. And being very conservative here. 10 To 20% increase when you change jobs is pretty standard. But let's think about it, what difference would that make to your future earning potential? Think about, you know, maybe you have a home renovation that you want to make even Pinterest daydreaming about it. Or you want to go on some vacations, you want to go to sun and fun drenched vacations, and you want to go take that vacation with your loved ones. And what about the kinds of donations that you want to make to the humanitarian causes that you care deeply about? In what would it be worth in the long run to have the mindset and strategies of confidence self advocacy become second nature to you? Now,

Jamie Lee  
having said all of that, and want you to know the money stuff is not theoretical. Sheila, she's an oncology doctor. She worked with me and she improved a job offer at a new hospital by five figures within a month of coaching with me more than doubling her coaching investment. A mirror she she's a compliance officer, she secured her dream job with a $50,000 pay increase and that was within five months of coaching, which is more than seven times our Oh, I return on investment. Now beyond money. Here are three kick refers to the career growth that my clients generate as a result of coaching with me. Number one, 90% Yes, 90%. I've done the math of clients report feeling calmer, more grounded, clear about how to best advocate for themselves within the first few sessions of coaching with me. And number two, they increasingly approach career challenges from a place of strength, because they have the mental and emotional bandwidth to bounce back from perceived and real setbacks, before they noticed that they had that they were spinning out or getting stuck in stress reaction. And now, they notice they have more and more mental and emotional bandwidth. And they feel more calmer, more grounded, they're able to respond rather than just react out of stress. Number three, all of this contributes to the capacity to lead to manage to negotiate and influence people up down and across with less overthinking with less second guessing yourself. And with more coherent, confident communication plans. This is what's possible for you inside my one on one coaching series, negotiation skills that boost your leadership, and earning potential confidence, clarity and ease in handling all sorts of dynamics with all sorts of people, and communication skills that make the difference between remaining behind the scenes, and becoming the leader who can be in front of the room, and who can be a trusted partner to other leaders. So I invite you if this is the reality you want to make for you, you want to make true for you, you can claim your spot for a free one on one hour long consultation today. So the consultation is an hour long zoom meeting, just between you and me. You get this full hour via zoom, or we can have it over phone chat, where I'm going to walk you through an intake is kind of like you know when you go to the doctor's office, and they ask you questions, so the initial part of the consultation is an intake, so that in the second half of the consultation, I can walk you through to your custom strategy, your custom plan, right. And I'm going to walk you through my own framework, but make sure that it's bespoke to your specific needs and situation so that you can create the results that you want. Then we'll talk about the impact of that on your career, your life, and if and only if there is a fit. Then we discuss how we can work together including session scheduling, and making the payments etc. To get started. So come on over to Jamie Lee coach.com where you can find all of the details you can find the quiz, you can find the consultation link on work with me page and the direct URL to that is Jamie Lee coach.com/apply. Jamie Lee coach slash Jamie Lee coach.com/apply. All right, I will talk to you soon. As an executive coach for women, I'm super passionate about helping smart women who hate office politics get promoted and better paid. I do this through my unique combination of number one self directed neuroplasticity tools backed by science. Number two negotiation strategies proven to work for women by academic research and number three intersectional feminist lens that honors women's lived experiences. To learn more about my one on one coaching series and to book your free hour long consultation with me. Come on over to Jamie Lee coach.com/apply It's Jamie Lee coach.com/apply J am i e l e c o ach.com/apply Talk soon