Jamie Lee: Welcome to negotiate your career growth. I'm Jamie Lee and I teach you how to blend the best of negotiation strategies with feminist coaching. So you get promoted and better paid without burning bridges or burning out in the process. Let's get started. 

Jamie Lee: Hello, hello, I'm really excited to share with you this brand new podcast series called live coaching, you're going to be hearing snippets from me actually coaching real clients on real issues and getting to real solutions and resolutions and insights. In today's segment, you're going to hear from a client who was recently laid off, and she's at a crossroads. And she needs to decide what she actually genuinely wants to do. And you'll hear her go from a state of feeling stuck, stressed to feeling calm, resourceful, decisive. And throughout these coaching series, you'll hear me do three things over and over and over again. And those three things aren't number one, support my clients. With adaptive neuroplasticity, that's a really fancy phrase for meaning you can rewire your brain. And how we do this is we leverage how the brain is wired, how we absorb information, how we absorb and process information in the brain, and use those pathways to rewire it for more resourcefulness. And the second thing is from there from a point from a place of feeling resourced, then making a decision that actually supports the growth you really want. And number three, supporting my clients in strategizing or coming up with an action or communication plan so that they can advocate or negotiate for the growth that they really want. 

I'm really excited to share this series with you this the concept of adaptive neuroplasticity is very near and dear to my heart. Because I believe that as a result of existing in the social context we exist in, it's an evitable that we will encounter thoughts that trigger feelings of self doubt, and stress and stuckness. It's not our fault, it's it's just an aspect of being alive in this world that's very far from perfect. But as human beings, we are so much more powerful than the social context, we have so much more agency over what we think and how we respond and create new results. And I believe that as a feminist, this is something that we really empowers us to, to, to regain control over our inner lives, as well as our accomplishments, professional achievements, and the growth that we can achieve in the real world. So again, so excited to share these real coaching snippets with real clients achieving real solutions. 

And I hope you enjoy it's going to start for today with a little segment on how I explained the difference between coaching and mentoring. And we'll dive right into a real coaching session. So I hope you will enjoy and if you know anyone, any woman in your network, who can benefit from this content, be a friend and kindly for them this podcast. 

And so if you are new to coaching and you're like Wait, WHAT IS code? What is coaching? Is it like advice do you tell me what to do? It is different from mentorship. Mentorship is when somebody who has bit more authority that more power, expertise in a very specific area tells you what to do or lends their position, their authority, their power to give you a leg up, right? So that's mentorship. But coaching is not mentorship coaching is more like, think about like this, maybe a mentor could be seen like almost like a guru. But a coach is a Sherpa. Coach is a guide, right? Coach is somebody who helps you see a different perspective, a more broader perspective, help you see greater options, and hope, you know, problem solve. Partner with you. It's like a meeting of the minds like a mastermind, where we become thought partners so that you and I can co create a strategy that works best for you. And also at the same time. I don't just like tell you what to do. Even though I will make suggestions I will make helpful suggestions as a Sherpa or a guide. But at the end of the day in a coaching relationship, you know, you are empowered to make decisions for yourself. Everything is Title coaching container is your choice.

Client: I was recently laid off at the end of July. And I've been working in the Medicare Medicaid field for 20 years. And I'm trying to think, is this something I want to continue working in? Or how do I get to the next level of manager?

feels that way? Yeah.

Jamie: So what are your thoughts about that?

Client: I did get burned out. From doing a lot of Medicare work in the past few years, especially during the pandemic. But that's the only job I've really ever known. So I'm not quite sure how to transition to a different job. I also worked as a social worker, and that was probably the best job I ever had.

Jamie: Okay, social workers. I'm not Medicare. No,

Client: I did it as part of the benefits.

Jamie: I'm gonna pause you here. Okay, I should have this is the thing that I forgot to say. And so I let me share this with everyone who's here live, you're going to notice that I'm going to pause you quite a bit. Okay. And I know especially you know, we have a lot of women of color who enjoy this call. And sometimes that can be kind of triggering. And I just want to acknowledge that this is not a sign of disrespect. Sometimes the pause is intentional, right? Because we talked about self directed neuroplasticity tools, and that's about it's about pattern interrupts, right. And that's why when let me also explain that sometimes when we tell the same story, about where we are, where we have been with the same feeling, we end up reinforcing that state, as opposed to creating the change that we want. And for that reason, I paused you. Right. And for that reason, I may be pausing other people who get coached in this call as well. So I'm going to ask you a question. That might sound a little strange. And that's because I'm just going to be totally honest with you... I think I met you in a different Smith College. Coaches call Smith Smith, coach, and so I am, I'm not like a like a stereotypical career coach. So for that reason, this question might sound strange, but humor me, okay. Humor me. Now. When you think about where you are now, and the decision that you want to make, right? What is the what is the feeling that you feel most often?

Client: A little stress if I stay in, okay, okay. Feels I am. Yeah,

Jamie: so the stress. Okay, so now I'm going to ask you, if the stress were a metaphor, or if it had a shape? What might it look like?

Client: Sort of like a big red ball. 

Jamie: Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that description, because I can see it really clearly in my mind's eye. Okay. So now I'm going to ask you again, Humor me? Imagine that you can take this big red ball and take it out of you, and put it to your right. Okay. And now, what I've heard is that there's a version of you that had made a career pivot. And successfully. Right. There's a version of you that had prevented from working as a social worker than yours in Medicare, right? Sure. You mean you burned out but still, like you had made a successful pivot? Right. So we'll just take note of that for now. But I'm going to ask you to take that the version of you that had been feeling stressed about the decision. Okay, and put it to your left over here. I trust that this is your left. Yeah, yes. Okay. Okay. So remembering that you had been successful I'm making career pivots. And if you're a social worker, and you work the system as a Medicare professional for years, that means that you know how to make decisions, you know how to make decisions, right? And so I want you to imagine, like, what is the resource that you want to send to that you that had been feeling stressed? Do you want to send her more confidence? Do you want to send her a hug? A message, word of encouragement from the person? You find inspiring? What would you love to send this version of you?

Client: More confidence? 

Jamie: Yeah. Okay, so just imagine that there's like a direct through line between you and that version of you? Right? And what color is confidence for you? 

Client: Green, green, yeah, green. 

Jamie: I love I love green, like nature of trees. Okay. So now, I want you to imagine that you can send this direct through line between you and that version of you that had been feeling stressed to send her all the green that she needs. And as you send her that green of confidence, right, see her get lighter, stronger, or decisive. And when you can see that. Now, I'm going to ask you to just close your eyes for a moment for me if that's okay, if you feel comfortable. And now I'm going to ask you to just imagine that version, a version of you that had been feeling stressed, that is now resourced or confident, merges and integrates with you as she becomes even more resourceful.

Do you notice?

Client: I'm calmer? Yeah.

Jamie: So now as you feel calmer, and as you notice, you know, the quality of being calm right now, right here. Now when you direct your attention to that red ball? What's there?

Client: Nothing. Oh, okay. It's small. It's there. But it's smaller. Yeah.

Jamie: So now as you feel calm, okay. You know, for me a calm is like a very resourceful state. For me, when I'm calm, I make the most clear headed decisions. I'm more present. Right? And I'll allow myself to know what I do know. almost unconsciously. Yeah. So now as you feel calm. When you think about the next step, and the smallest step that you want to take here, for your job search, what comes to mind?

Client: Something that makes me feel fulfilled. 

Jamie: I love that. I love that. I mean, who doesn't want to feel fulfilled in their career? Right? We all do. We all do. And sometimes what makes us fulfilled is I don't know if something we used to do something we haven't done. It could be a mix of things. Like it could be anything. Right? But I'm just gonna ask you to engage your imagination, right? We really want to leverage again, the neuroplasticity, your brains amazing ability to create new pathways to think about when I feel fulfilled. What do I see myself doing?

Client: Going back to social work? 

Jamie: Okay, I think you've got your answer. What do you think about that? 

Client: Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah. 

Jamie: So when you go back to social work, what's what's the smallest, tiniest next step that you take from today?

Client: going and looking for those contacts that I had, when I was doing that, that job.

Jamie: Okay. And, you know, I don't know what kind of social worker you used to be. But what I've heard through the grapevine that that kind of work. There's so much demand so much. 

Client: I've worked with elders. 

Jamie: Okay. Yes. That's like a growing huge growing demand for that. Okay, I think you've got this what do you think? 

Client: I think so. 

Jamie: Would you like to dive deeper? Come on over to Jamie Lee coach.com JAMIELEECOACH.com. You'll get your free ebook How to ask for a big pay raise and get on the list so you don't miss out on more tips, scripts and invites from yours truly Talk soon