0:00  
Welcome to risky conversations with Jamie Lee. I'm Jamie Lee, and if you're wondering why risky conversations, that's because everything worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation. I'm an executive coach for smart women who hate office politics, and I help them get promoted, get better paid, without throwing anyone under the bus. This six part series comes from my live workshop the promotion playbook for smart women in male dominated industries. You're going to hear the exact tools and frameworks that my clients have used to land promotions, increase their pay and grow their influence, plus real coaching moments and real success stories. This is part three of our promotion playbook series, and in this part three, you're going to hear from someone who has paid me with her time and attention. She has attended my free workshops, for which you can learn about on Jamie Lee coach.com j, A, M, I, E, L, E, E, C, O, A, C, h.com, get on my newsletter, and you'll get the monthly updates about free workshops. Anyways, she attended the workshops, she listened to the podcast, and she implemented. She took action on what she learned, and she created tangible results. And she talks about how she used this one small but powerful reframe shifting from quote, unquote, bragging to informing. And I love this because I often talk about how self advocacy is not really selfish as society conditions women to think, but actually, when done well, it is an act of service, and informing comes from service. You're serving them, you're helping the other side, you're informing them. And this person did this, and she ended up landing an opportunity that ended up increasing her income. So this is a success story. I'm really happy when people who don't pay me a dime, but who have paid me with their attention and focus generate real results in their lives, as this person has. So let's dive in.

2:18  
I've been following you for a while. I the first webinar of yours that I attended was one that you did for the Seven Sisters Alumni Association, and so I enjoy your podcast and your articles. Thank you so much for your advice. I don't have a specific question, but I did want to share that

2:38  
through your writings and and,

2:42  
and all the great advice that you give for free, aside from your one on one coaching. You talked about,

2:50  
you talked about how women are generally socialized not to brag, right, not to that, that we're we're taught like, Oh, don't be boastful. Don't, don't brag. And you turned that around and talked about

3:03  
that, we should think about it as informing. We're informing our audience about what our accomplishments are, what our experience is. And two years ago, I was under consideration for an opportunity, and there were a couple of decision makers involved, and one of them was like, Karen, we're hiring you. And I was like, Okay, great. And I was really excited. It was a man that I'd worked for before for, and actually was working for in a different capacity for a number of years. And we had a meeting with

3:37  
two other people, one of which was one of the key decision makers. And this gentleman had shared with me that this other decision maker was not completely on board. He's like, Oh, I've heard good things about Karen, but, you know, want to kind of see who else is out there. And during that meeting, I kept your advice in mind and shared my experience, shared that this other gentleman who was a key decision maker had hired me previously. I shared my qualifications, I shared my experience, and ultimately, was indeed hired for the job. And just, I think it's such a huge issue for women because of the way we've been socialized because we've been taught not to be boastful and to fit ourselves to what society tells us we're supposed to be. Don't be too loud, don't be too flashy, don't be too anything. There's a whole list of things that I'm sure we could come up with,

4:38  
but your advice helped me get that role, and so I wanted to share that, and that was part of what made me excited to come back today to listen to you again. Karen, thank you so much for sharing that. I'm so glad that you you know you spoke up for yourself, you advocated for yourself, and again, you prove to yourself.

5:00  
Yourself that it's not like being boastful. You're like, here are the facts. Yeah, it's really about reframing it, right? It's about, it's it, it's not, it's not boastful. It's reframing it in the sense of, you know, this is what you need to know about me to recognize that I am the right candidate for this role,

5:22  
there was also,

5:24  
so I've been in this role for two years now. I'm very happy there,

5:30  
but it was only, it's only been 50% of my work, and I really wanted to build on it and grow it. And I have this other 50% of my work that I do, and it's fine, but it's not, it's not what makes me excited to work each day. And so just last week, I met with, again, with this gentleman who is the key decision maker, and I had previously sent him an email saying, you know, I've been doing this work, and I'm very happy with it, and I want to continue it, but there's an opportunity to build on it, and there are things that I could do to grow this role and and spend, hopefully, all, if not most, of my time, but yes, ultimately, I would need to give up this other work that I do. And so while we haven't negotiated compensation. He agreed to it in principle. He's not thrilled that I'm leaving the other responsibilities behind, but I assured him that those can be transferred to somebody else.

6:32  
But again, it was about reframing it, and it was about listening to some of your advice, both today as well as you know, other things that you've offered that I've read and listened to about reframing it, I realized that I need, as much as this is something that I wanted, I needed to frame it for him in a way that helps him understand why this is good for him, why this is something beneficial, and why me leaving other responsibilities behind would not be detrimental to him. Somebody else can take those responsibilities. I joined. I started doing those responsibilities five years ago. They were transferred to me. They can be transferred to somebody else. And here's the benefit to these, the work that I want to continue to do and build on. And so we still have to talk compensation, and I will be

7:25  
thinking about your advice when I get into that negotiation. But, but I think for so many women reframing the way we present ourselves, the way we present what we want, the way we

7:41  
present like ourselves. Is is key to getting what we want? Yes. Can we, everyone in this room? Could we just take a moment to celebrate? Karen,

7:54  
yes,

7:56  
chat or Yes? I see some Yes. I see some emojis, yes, yes.

8:03  
Jamie, your your sage advice is a big part of me overcoming everything that I've been taught in my 50 plus years about not being too much of anything and really going out there for what I want and finding the right way to present it so that I can get it. So thank you, thank you. I love that, and I love that you didn't pay me a single dollar.

8:27  
No, I haven't, but you're so generous. I mean, between what you post on LinkedIn and your podcast and whatnot, I mean I I feel like I have learned so much from you about advocating for myself and so thank you. Thank you. Thank

8:41  
you. Karen's story is proof that advocating for yourself does not have to feel pushy and you don't have to beat yourself up about quote, unquote bragging. It can simply be about giving others the information they need to see your value and make an informed decision. In our next episode, you're going to hear a live coaching moment on something every coach, every consultant, everyone who prices their own service hours, has to face pricing your services. Thank you for listening to the promotion playbook series here on risky conversations with Jamie Lee. If you found this episode helpful, please leave a five star review on any of the podcasting platforms on which you are listening to this podcast. Past listeners have shared that these free workshops, free podcasts, have helped them get hired, get promoted and get paid more. Your review helps other people, other women, find the 100 plus free podcast episodes, and if you come on over to Jamie Lee coach.com that's spelled j, A, M, I, E, L, E, E, C, O.

10:00  
Ach.com

10:01  
you can also access 100 plus free articles I've written on leadership, negotiation, confidence for the ambitious professional women. Until next time, please keep advocating for yourself, and remember advocating for yourself is not selfish, it is an act of service.