0:00  
Welcome to risky conversations with Jamie Lee. I'm Jamie Lee, and if you're wondering why risky conversations, that's because everything worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation. I'm an executive coach for smart women who hate office politics, and I help them get promoted, get better paid, without throwing anyone under the bus. This six part series comes from my live workshop the promotion playbook for smart women in male dominated industries. You're going to hear the exact tools and frameworks that my clients have used to land promotions, increase their pay and grow their influence, plus real coaching moments and real success stories. This is part five of the promotion playbook series on risky conversations with Jamie Lee in this part. In this episode, you're going to hear a client's story of leaving a draining job, which I have totally done a few times in the past, and then taking a much needed break. Oh, I mean sabbaticals, I think that is really amazing, and figuring out how to return to work without fear of repeating old patterns, how to return to work after burnout, without the fear of burning out all over again. So let's dive in.

1:34  
I Yes, it was okay. So I have a quick, I don't know if it's a quick question. And thank you also, as well, for for all of your advice. I found you a few months ago when I was working a part time job and I was working on the negotiation stuff, so I listened to a lot of your your information. So thank you for that. And so my situation is I voted with my feet, and I ended up leaving my resigning from my my job at a large company in a creative space and areas that I thought I was like, that's where I was destined to be. I thought it was a perfect job, perfect role. But then within that role, I I always had to, I felt like the the goal post was always moving. I was always having to advocate for myself. I was always having to, like, do all this stuff. So it just like, made me exhausted with that space, the corporate space, and so I guess where I'm looking for right now is, I'm I need to start making money again. I took a career break for about a year, but now I'm a little Gun, gun shy about going back into the same thing. So I guess I was curious if you had any other resources or ways to think about how I go back into the workforce. And, you know, just trying to move past some of the things that I had to deal with in the past in order to be successful again.

3:12  
Don't go back to the same place. Yeah, don't go back to the place where, you know, okay, so tactically, practically, you know to be choosy, right? You're choosy, yeah, otherwise you wouldn't be in this room, correct, right? You're choosing. So we know that you're going to be choosy, but you could tell me if I'm wrong, but my gut says the problem isn't whether the opportunities are out there. The problem is that there's a part of you that is referencing the past, and this is totally normal. We all do it. A part of you says, if you go back, it's going to be the same, exactly, right? And so when the part of you says, when you when I go back, it's going to be the same, how do you feel?

4:15  
It? I just it makes me really nervous, and it makes me question,

4:19  
yes, really nervous. And when you question yourself, what happens to your confidence?

4:26  
It's it was very low when, when I left,

4:29  
yeah, and when you feel nervous and you question yourself, what do you notice you do? Because you feel very nervous and you question yourself,

4:40  
um, I've been avoidant for about a year in this process. You know, it's a career break, but it's also a healing break, do and changing the lifestyle pace. I used to be in New York, and I moved out of New York and the whole city, and just, yeah, all the things.

4:58  
First of all, I want to sell. Celebrate the heck out of you for taking a break. Because so many people yearn and want to do it, but they like chicken out of it, or, you know, like they know they really need it, but you did something that was really courageous is very you're doing something very courageous right. Notice that we know for a fact that everything changes. Notice that you have changed. People have changed. Workplaces have changed. Change is the only constant in this world. Would you agree? Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so while we notice that your brain is telling you, it's the fact that I'm thinking about going back to a paying job that has me feeling very nervous and questioning myself Yes or No, correct, right, right? And that's why I avoid and that's right, but I want to offer you like, what if you thinking about going back to working right? Of course, it can't create this nervous feeling, because we already established that change is the only constant. So even if you quote, unquote, go back, but you going to a different kind of place. That's true perspective, but your brain conveniently overlooks that when it is entertaining the thought that it's going to be the same when I, quote, unquote, go back. Yeah, yeah. And so as a result of that, you feel nervous, you question yourself, you avoid it, and you don't understand, as a result, that nothing is really the same, yeah, and there is no going back. You're not going back. You're going forward in your life. You're making new choices. You're making more selective, you know, you're you're becoming more choosy.

7:17  
Yeah, that's a good reframe. Yeah, I guess I'll go back to all your other reframe videos that Karen also found.

7:24  
Yeah, yeah. So you're not going back that place doesn't exist. It only exists in your mind, right? And so resources I want to offer you is like, what if you can think about how new and different, like, what if you intentionally brought your attention to how new and different your future employment is going to be because you have changed, you have new resources and the workplace change and job like, you know, there's so much change happening. Change is the only constant, yeah, yeah. What do you think about that?

8:08  
I think that's, I think that's great. I think I, you know, it's kind of in this stage of, how do I I need to take the first step forward, and I'm just working on how to build up to that

8:22  
Yes. And the first step forward I want to suggest is think about what's new and different. What's new and different in my field, what's new and different about me and I, I want to suggest, like, I'm thinking about, like, two different brain related stuff. There is, there is, there's a Harvard academic who studies the who studies the brain, and it's all about creativity. It's all about, like, just asking yourself, what's new and different? Oh, she's the expert on mindfulness, Ellen Langer, and this is the key question, what's new and different, right? So I want to invite you to make that like your focus as you think about what's new and different and what's happening in my field, what's new and different about me, right? And I want to invite that to sort of be like the one tiny next stepping stone to whatever new journey you embark on.

9:24  
That's great advice. Thank you.

9:28  
So in summary, I want to encourage everyone who is listening to this podcast to also ask themselves, what's new and different right now? What's new and different about me? What's new and different about the other thing, the next step, the new career or the new job or the new adventure, what's new and different about that? Because, as I said, change is really the only constant. Thank you for listening to the promotion playbook series here on risky conversations. With Jamie Lee, if you found this episode helpful, please leave a five star review on any of the podcasting platforms on which you are listening to this podcast. Past listeners have shared that these free workshops, free podcasts, have helped them get hired, get promoted and get paid more. Your review helps other people, other women, find the 100 plus free podcast episodes, and if you come on over to Jamie Lee coach.com that's spelled j, A, M, I, E, L, E, E, C, O, A, C, h.com, you can also access 100 plus free articles I've written on leadership, negotiation confidence for the ambitious professional women. Until next time, please keep advocating for yourself, and remember advocating for yourself is not selfish. It is an act of service.