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Welcome back to risky conversations. My name is Jamie Lee. I'm an executive coach for smart women who feel allergic to office politics, and sometimes, when my clients see office politics around them, it seems like the game is about throwing other people under the bus. But my clients don't want to do that, so I help them get promoted, get better paid, without throwing anyone under the bus.

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Today, I am going to walk you through a trance. I did a trance in a previous episode. It was called neuroscience based trans three brain alignment for leaders. And I'll make sure to add that in the show notes. And today, I want to walk you through a guided visualization called the circle of self trust. The circle of self trust is designed specifically to help you strengthen your energetic and emotional boundaries, especially when you're dealing with difficult or might I say, even toxic personalities. In the workplace, I don't know about you, but when I did work as an employee in the workplace, dealing with some of these very difficult personalities was the most stressful thing.

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And I will admit that I I am empathic, and when you're empathic or sensitive like me, sometimes just being around certain people can wear you down, and if you have to

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collaborate with them, and you find yourself putting heads with certain people, it just can drain Your energy and just not make work fun. So the intention behind the circle of self trust is not about spiritual bypassing or pretending everything's fine, because that never works. This is about learning to stay centered and clear so you can show up with grounded, embodied confidence, even when other people around you are being chaotic, reactive or triggering. Think of this as mental strength training for your leadership nervous system. It's also a taste of what it's like to work with me one on one, because in my coaching practice, I always blend both smart communication strategy with embodied techniques like this one that are based on neuroscience. The inspiration for this particular practice comes from the Heart Math Institute, which has measured how the human heart generates an electromagnetic field that extends several feet beyond the body. So when somebody says, Oh, that person's vibe was just, I don't know, there's something off about this person's vibe, or she and I get along because we're on the same frequency. That's actually based on science this field, this study, is not about mysticism. It's a measurable aspect of our physiology, detectable with sensitive instruments like magnetic cardiograms. Research suggests that when a person's heart rhythm becomes coherent, calm, rhythmic and stable, it can influence their own brain activity and even the nervous systems of people near by, there is also fascinating work with horses, whose large, sensitive nervous systems make them natural biofeedback partners. Studies in Equine Assisted Therapy show that horses heart rhythms often synchronize with the heart rhythms of humans interacting with them, especially when the person is calm, focused and emotionally congruent.

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So in other words, executive presence can be measured. So rather than being a metaphor, energy or executive presence refers to a real physiological coherence that others, human or animal, can perceive and respond to. The steadier your internal signal, the steadier the field you project into your environment. So before we get started into and into the trance, I want to invite you to make sure that you're in a place where you can just sit comfortably. So please don't be driving a car as you engage in this trance, because I will ask you to sit, breathe, and if you feel comfortable, close your eyes.

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So preferably where you please be, where you won't be interrupted for about 15 minutes.

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So before we begin, let's set the intention together. The goal here is not to block people out, shut them down or build walls. This is to cultivate a deep, embodied sense of self, trust so you can navigate interpersonal conflict, which is par for the course, inevitable in all workplaces, especially in leadership, so that you can navigate interpersonal conflict with clarity, confidence and integrity. And here's what I mean by that, clarity, as in knowing what's yours and what's not, knowing what's fact, what's fiction, and confidence, as in being steady, being having this confidence that's embodied, that feels authentic under your skin, without slipping into arrogance or denial and integrity, staying aligned with what's ethical, professional and true for you, this is how leaders grow, not by avoiding conflict, but developing the resilience and the skill to Staying conscious and congruent within it.

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So let's get started.

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Take a slow breath in and exhale twice as long.

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And as you continue to breathe comfortably deeply, you may begin to notice the quiet rhythm of your body, breathing itself.

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And as you breathe, if you feel comfortable, and if it's okay, where you are, you can either close your eyes or half open your eyes and look down so that you're sort of engaged in a soft, diffused focus, engaged in peripheral vision.

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And as you feel the ground beneath your feet steady and certain,

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notice how it's as if the Earth itself were quietly saying, I've got you.

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And as you feel that support, you might allow your shoulders to soften, the small muscles around your eyes to

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let go

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and the jaw to loosen just a little bit more with each exhale

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and with the next inhale, imagine sensing a warm, steady glow forming at the center of your chest, the calm energy of self trust expanding softly with Each breath

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and as that warmth spreads through your torso. You might notice how every breath invites a little bit more ease,

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and every exhale, let's go of something that you no longer need to hold,

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and as you feel that ease

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spreading through you. Notice how you like to feel ease.

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You might sense a gentle spaciousness forming around you,

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a comfortable distance that breathes with you,

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and as you become aware of this gentle space,

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perhaps you can picture it as a circle of presence,

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soft at the edges, clear at the center

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Inside the circle, your breath, your heartbeat, your calm intelligence

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outside the swirl of other people's moods and noise moving like a weather pattern in distance, and as you notice this difference, you may realize that your body already knows how to stay centered here,

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within this fear,

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outside someone's tone may rise, and as it does, your breath naturally stays low and even. And outside someone's words may press, and as they do, your thoughts may return to what feels like your calm center, and perhaps

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while noticing that you can choose what enters your circle.

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Now. Jen.

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Gently press your thumb

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and middle finger together, and as you breathe in, hold that touch for five slow seconds, 54321,

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and as you exhale, gently release the touch,

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but allowing the calm to linger as the fingers separate. And each time you breathe this way, your body learns faster how to find the state once again,

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and as you notice the calm continuing to breathe through you and beyond you. You might imagine yourself in a familiar place

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in the near future, perhaps it's a meeting room, a conference call or hallway conversation, and as you picture that scene, notice how naturally your calm travels with you,

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the same steady breath, the same quiet awareness of your circle, your sphere of self, trust

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you hear voices, perhaps the ones that used to unsettle you, and as you notice that sound, your thumb and finger gently meet once again, breathing in for 54321,

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and as You exhale, releasing the touch, feeling the calm. Stay behind, stable, balanced, rooted, grounded and present.

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And from that place, from that place, you might hear yourself speaking voice, even words, clear, grounded in your own timing, safe within your own sphere of self trust,

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and as you hear that calm voice in your mind,

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you can imagine a second moment, perhaps later that same day, when the pace quickens, or maybe someone pushing for quick answers,

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and as the pressure rises, your body remembers what to do. You pause. You inhale. Slowly, bring thumb and finger together once more, holding the touch for 54321,

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321,

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exhale, letting the finger separate, letting the exhale carry away anything unnecessary and inside your circle, clarity gathers outside. The noise fades into distance, just like weather fades into distance,

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and you realize that you can trust this, trust yourself to be strong.

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And every time you practice this, the connection between your breath, touch and confidence grow stronger until one gentle breath can bring it all back.

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So now, as you breathe again, comfortably and easily, notice the steadiness in your chest, the length in your spine, the quiet clarity of your thoughts

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and press your thumb and finger together one last time, breathing in for 54321,

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and

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gently releasing as you exhale,

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feel how the calm remains, even after The touch is gone,

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you've trained your body to remember this state accessible anytime, anywhere before meeting during a conversation, even mid sentence, this circle, the steadiness, this quiet authority, is always with you. And if you like, you can even imagine this circle shrinking to a size that you can hold within your palm, so that you can slip it into your pocket or into your bag, and you can carry it with you anywhere you go.

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So take one last deep breath in

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and let it go slowly

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and return feeling grounded, clear and ready into this room, and you might feel yourself wanting to take a big stretch and with a smile, opening your eyes ready

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to claim your power.

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Knowing that your clarity is your boundary and your integrity is your leadership.

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you can also access 100 plus free articles I've written on leadership, negotiation, confidence for the ambitious professional women. Until next time, please keep advocating for yourself and remember advocating for yourself is not selfish. It is an act of service.