Jamie Lee 0:00

I quit a job once so I could cry at home instead of in front of the woman I admired the most in my entire professional life. And you know what? 13 years later, I'm grateful it happened. My name is Jamie Lee, and this is Risky Conversations. And why risky conversations? Because everything that's worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation. And today it's just me. And I want to tell you about one of the worst days of my early career as an employee when I jumped ship and I quit a promising job without another one lined up. And I'll share with you why I did that and why taking that risk paid off in the long run.

Jamie Lee 0:47

It was spring of 2013, and I had just returned from a really wonderful vacation in Antalya, Turkey. I was sun drenched and relaxed, and the kind of relaxed, when you honestly believe your life is just gonna be fine and dandy. And I had just recently started, right before I went on that vacation, a new role as a sales rep at a startup that was founded by a friend of mine who was also a mentor. This mentor had taught me the valuable lessons about negotiating for yourself in your career. And she inspired me to help other women build the confidence and skill to speak up, advocate for themselves, and get paid better.

Jamie Lee 1:28

So for years, I had looked up to her with these like starry eyes, full of admiration and love and respect. And when she offered me the job, I felt like I'd been chosen by someone I wanted to be like. And then I went on that vacation, I came back, and slowly and then all at once, I realized the writing was on the wall. You know when it's like when a woman starts to secretly hate you but can't say it to your face? Like all the air has been sucked out of the room, you know, passive-aggressive remarks, lack of eye contact. It was as if the warmth had suddenly been replaced by cold, frigid air. And I've sensed it viscerally in the body. I was on the chopping block. I was gonna get fired. She regretted hiring me, and mainly the part of that reason was that I had the nerve to take a vacation in Turkey and not work through it.

Jamie Lee 2:25

I want you to understand how heartbroken I was, because it wasn't just any kind of job. This was coming from a person that I trusted, respected, admired, and she was deciding that I wasn't what she hoped for. So I did what some of us proud, overachieving Asian people do. I quit, I left to safe face. I packed up my things, I went home, and I cried my eyes out.

Jamie Lee 2:55

Now, here's the part that I could not have told you that day. Looking back, I was spared. I was spared months, maybe years of grinding through a job that was never going to fit me. And I would have shrunk myself to make it work. I'd have burnt myself out to make it work. And on that very same day when I quit with my heart broken in pieces and nothing left to lose, I got a glimmer of the work I actually wanted to do. I had a sense that I wanted to work with smart people one-on-one and watch people grow without institutional investors breathing down my neck, which is what happens to you when you found a startup and take institutional money. And this glimmer of hope, it was so faint, and it didn't cancel out the heartbreak at all. The two sat side by side, like they were sharing a very uncomfortable couch. And that thread of hope is what eventually led me here today to being a full-time coach for brilliant women and marginalized leaders who are on their own journeys of growth.

Jamie Lee 4:13

I see this pattern in my clients all the time. Take, for example, my client Liza. She was devastated when she realized how much credit, how much of her sales commissions she had been handing over to her male colleagues simply because she didn't fully believe in herself. And there was real grief in that. There was a real heartbreak. But right alongside that grief, right alongside that heartbreak was a spark. I don't have to keep doing this. Today she's a respected leader, earning her bigger, fair share of those six-figure commissions, and she's keeping that money because she has earned it.

Jamie Lee 4:58

Another client, Mary, she felt lost after she received a mixed performance review, and she started second-guessing whether she even belonged in her department in her industry. And right alongside that doubt was a quiet question. What if I don't have to keep forcing myself like a round peg into a square hole? Today she has landed on a new team that actually fits her.

Jamie Lee 5:26

And another client, Kristen, she felt intense panic and anxiety in the pressure cooker of a tech startup. Alongside the dread came the first glimmer that something different could be even better. She started asking herself, what if I could create an art business? I'm an artist, I have an art background. What if I could create a business that honors my gifts and fits my life? And today she is an art business owner and she sold out her prints at her very first art show, and we got to celebrate that in the coaching session.

Jamie Lee 6:02

Different stories, same thread. Each of them, in a moment of heartbreak, took a what if and turned it into real life. So if your heart is breaking today, I'm not going to tell you to skip the heartbreak because you're allowed to feel every bit of it. I'm just asking you to notice whether there's a thread of hope, a glimmer of hope, an idea running alongside it, however thin or tender. And let it lead you somewhere even better, even if you cannot see where it goes yet.

Jamie Lee 6:49

And perhaps you found this podcast because someone forwarded to you, or you stumbled upon it because you were searching a line for some kind of guidance as you were feeling career heartbreak or your version of that. And here's what this means: that means that a part of you has faith there is a way to the other side. And if that's you, and if you're ready for some one-on-one support, please know I can help. As an executive coach for smart women who don't like office politics, I can help you navigate your way out of career heartbreak. And to get started, you can book a free hour-long consultation with me. And you can find all the information and the link to book your free consultation at jamieleecoach.com slash apply. J A M I E L E E C O A C H dot com slash apply. And that link will also be in the show notes.

Jamie Lee 7:53

And here's what I guarantee in the free hour long consultation. You will experience a shift. You will feel differently. You will see a new perspective. And if not, you won't have to take one more step beyond the free consult. Because as a coach, I am confident that I can help you gain this new perspective. And together in this hour, we will co-create a custom step-by-step action plan that works specifically for your unique situation and needs. And then at the end of that consultation, you get to assess if that step-by-step plan works for you and the impact it will have on your career satisfaction, on your income potential, on the future impact you will have as a professional and as a leader. And if and only if there is a mutual fit, then we'll have a conversation about how we work together. So thank you for spending these minutes with me. I will talk to you soon.