Jamie Lee (00:00):
Welcome to Negotiate your Career Growth. I'm Jamie Lee, and I teach you how to blend the best of negotiation strategies with feminist coaching so you get promoted and better paid without burning bridges or burning out in the process. Let's get started.
(00:15)
Hello. Hello, hello. I am so excited to share the special series of podcasts that I'm doing on how to get better paid. I know if you're listening to this, you have a desire to learn how to do this the smart way, not the hard way, and that is exactly what you're going to learn. You're going to learn proven strategies that have helped me and my paying clients improve their income, negotiate and earn tens of thousands more, sometimes hundreds of thousand dollars more in annual income. And in fact, this was a free, totally free event that I did earlier this year, and attendees reported back to me that they applied the principles and the tools that I taught them and ended up negotiating for tens of thousands of dollars more in their income as well. This is totally available and possible for you too. I'm so excited to share with you. You could actually watch the replay of this webinar. The YouTube link will be in the show notes. But for those of you who tend to be more auditory listeners and learners, I thought this podcast will be a great way for you to learn, apply, and generate new, bigger results in your career and in your life. I hope you enjoy, and if you like, please do share, subscribe, and enjoy. This is part three, so if you missed part one and two, please go back and listen to episodes eight and nine. Enjoy.
Jamie Lee (01:53):
You do this. Well, there will come a time, you just gotta tell them how much more you wanna make. Right? Or sometimes you are in a job offer negotiation or recruiter reaches out to you and they ask you, what is your target salary? I suggest I've, I've been taught by the best and the best have taught me you gotta anchor first and anchor high. This means tell them what you want. But because you have taken stock of your contributions, you have developed value focus, you have a better understanding of your value, and you have decided on your target, what you're gonna do is you're gonna go step or two above that. If you wanna make $200,000, ask for two 50. If you wanna make 300, ask for three 50. Okay? And you are gonna do this as part of framing for value as a result of having framed for the value you bring.
(02:53)
Okay? And when you do this, not only do you tip the negotiation in your favor because the first reasonably ambitious number that enters the conversation, the conversation will always tip towards that number, right? It's, it's, it's leveraging cognitive bias to your favor. And at the same time, if it's too high or they're like, oh, wow, okay, that's kind of beyond our budget. You have wiggle room if you have space between your target and your anchor, but you start with your anchor. Oh, and I forgot to say this, don't give a range, right? Don't give a range unless you are okay with that bottom number. If you really wanna make $200,000, don't tell them I'm okay with somewhere between 180 and two 20. No, they'll give you 180. If you wanna make 200, you tell them, I like somewhere around two 50. Okay? Anchor high to create wiggle room, even though you know you're gonna be okay with two, 200.
(03:59)
Now there is room, right? Cause usually the only way you go in a negotiation is down. And if this feels uncomfortable, as it would, you practice it out loud. Say it out loud. I am a professional who makes $250,000. I am director of marketing earning $300,000. Say it out loud. Teach your brain. Retrain your brain, okay? And for whatever reason, they have anchored, first they told you it's okay to break their their anchor. It's okay. Again, it's about how do you frame for the value? And I just wanna remind you again, you tell them, I understand this is what you wanna achieve, but based on the value that I'm bringing that will help you achieve those results, I'd like to ask for two 50 or 300, right? Anchor high by framing for your value. Okay? And then you're wondering, well, what if they say no?
(04:58)
It's okay. Pat yourself on the back. If they say no. That's how you know. You, you, you went for it. You went for the, the highest amount possible, right? That you're not leaving any money on the table. And this is concrete proof that you are building your self-advocacy muscle. You've taken action, you've internalized that locus of control. This is a win. Whether they say no, whether they say yes, whether they say maybe if you've asked this is a win. And if they say, no, this isn't about you, our brain will tempt us into thinking, oh, I've been rejected. Oh, they don't like us. No, remember, this isn't about you. This is not personal. This is, this is an opportunity. I I drew the three ven diagram circles here. But remember, this is their goals, the value you bring what you want. This is an opportunity to just get really curious and clear.
(05:56)
So maybe there's something here that we don't yet understand really well. So this is an opportunity to get gracefully assertive. Not making this about you, but you know, stay rounded in your value and get curious, not furious what you do. Really simple. Ask a doubly question. Ask, you know, what about this doesn't work for you? Or, what might you need to see from me to make this work? Or how can we work together so that we can work together? Like, and who else might need to be part of this conversation so we can move this further along, right? Open. In other words, don't assume that it is a failure. Don't assume that it's about you. Just get curious about what here, right? Their goals, their priorities, your value. What, what, what about here isn't, you know, you haven't quite gotten clarity around. Cause that is usually the problem.
(06:58)
So you just form a w with your mouth and ask an open ended diagnostic question. The power of this is that usually when women negotiate their salary, they feel like it's almost like an interrogation, like an indictment on the value of themselves, their self worth, their the value. But it's not, right? It's not about you. You can turn this around by asking an open-ended diagnostic question so that now you are, instead of being a face off in this, under this harsh, pale lamp <laugh>, now you are side by side. We're just trying to problem solve this together. We're trying to work together. Remember, we're trying to achieve this, this sweet spot of you adding value to help them achieve their goals and priorities. So we're, we're just trying to problem solve together side by side, so that asking open ended diagnostic questions will turn, push back into an opportunity for collaborative problem solving.
(08:05)
Okay? So, and I have clients who have gotten, no, I have clients who have gotten no on their raise and promotion. I have clients who were turned down on their job offers and instead of giving up, instead of making it personal, they stayed gracefully assertive. They asked a curious question, they turned it around, they got higher, they got better pay, they got promoted ahead of time, ahead of schedule, six months ahead of schedule. It is possible you can do it too. So to recap the five steps, why do they work? When you take stock of your contributions and when you develop value focus, you're able to articulate your value in a compelling way to the other side so that it's a no brainer that you deserve more money, right? And when you make decisions ahead of time, let's notice making decisions is what leaders do.
(09:05)
So not only does it activate your leadership and you can initiate, engage and influence in that conversation, but it also unlocks confidence and power. When you communicate early and often when you have conversations, you build bridges. And let's notice when you build bridges, when you build relationships with, uh, your interdependent network of people, your perceived value goes up. Because the more you become a known entity, the more valuable you are seen and more valuable you are seeing, the more value you you bring. Okay? Cause a lot of value is in the eye of the beholder. So you wanna make sure you are seen and heard about the wins that you are achieving all the time. Anchor first to anchor high, close your wage gap. It's okay if you don't know what they're gonna say. If you are clear on your value, you are clear on what you want.
(10:06)
You get to go first and you increase the eyes that you get what you want, and you get more than your target. When you're curious, not furious, you get past, no, you get to engage in creative problem solving, and you build your, your experience, your skill in maneuvering through conflict, through disagreement, right? You, you approach it as a problem solving exercise and you build your, um, your muscle for getting through to people getting past no. But there is more, right? Beyond benefits. Those, those are just like the immediate benefits. You work on these skills, you build these skills and you gain a skill that you use for life in your business, in your career, in your leadership. And imagine the impact of this. Imagine you growing your confidence and asking for what you want in all aspects of your career in life. Whether that is negotiating your salary, whether that is celebrating your wins on a public slack channel, whether that is asking for a better table at the restaurant that you love to go to, okay?
(11:24)
And when you make those decisions ahead of time, you get clear on your priorities, on your vision. And what that leads to is you get to set boundaries, right? When you learn to ask for what you want, you also get to learn to say no to what you don't want. And therefore you gain more of your time back because you just focus on what's important, what delivers value. And this helps you build reputation because you're also engaging in the strategic conversations early and often. You get known as somebody who brings value, focus, somebody who is to be respected for the value she brings. And of course, you get better paid. This is how my clients get better paid and promoted way ahead of schedule. And as I mentioned, the median number that my clients, uh, get in terms of like increase in salary is about $20,000. And so I did the math. If you're in the middle of your career, let's say you're like in the mid thirties and you continue to work for another 20, 30 years, that incremental raise will compound to 2 million, two, two additional million dollars over your lifetime. So that is the training. And this is why these skills are so important.
(12:49)
For those of you who want to become a more confident professional. For those of you who wanna become a more confident manager, leader, executive, you know, you know that growing these skills, right? Getting better paid is just one byproduct of becoming a more skilled and negotiator, right? And the best time to get started is today. The best time to get started building these skills is today because it's just like muscle. It's like growing a muscle. You don't get to buff beautiful Madonna arms overnight. If you try to just lift a whole bunch of weight, like a ton of weights to get to Madonna arms, you hurt yourself. It's the same thing in negotiation. If you don't build a muscle intentionally over time with, uh, practice, right? You hurt yourself because there is no faking it in negotiation. And so if you are somebody who wants to get promoted and better paid, and you want to have expert guidance in your corner so that you can be all of these beyond benefits, get better paid and grow your confidence.
(14:06)
At the same time, I have developed my one on one coaching program for you, I have developed a coaching program that is for six months weekly sessions to help you develop the mindset of strength. You internalize that locus of control. You see yourself in control, responsible. You are enough, your work is valuable, and you bring that value focus to every conversations that you have. You bring that strategic mindset of problem solving to every problem, every difficult situation, every difficult person that you encounter so that it is inevitable that you get better paid and promoted in your career while feeling great, while becoming even more, uh, even better advocate for yourself in all other areas of your life. I have clients who take these skills and they bring it to their home life. They bring it to their dating life. They bring it to everything else that they do so that they have a better quality of life and a better career.
(15:12)
So if that's you, if that's what you want, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation. Uh, the consultation is not a coaching session, but a consultation is an opportunity for you to speak with me one on one in what we do is we custom fit this proven process to your specific situation, your specific needs, so that you know exactly how you can achieve your career goals, right? I'm gonna help you build your negotiation muscle today so that as a result of it, you become a more confident self-advocate. You become a more confident leader and manager and executive. And, um, if you signed up, I guess like before this morning, check your inbox. I have already sent you this link directly to you, but if not, just go to calendly.com/jamie lee slash consult and you can go there, look for a time that works for you, and, uh, I just have a few questions there to make sure that we're a good fit.
(16:24)
And then, um, yeah, and then we can have a chat. And if you don't see a time that works for you, you can email me directly, you can email, uh, you have my email from the Zoom registration, and I will make sure you get on my calendar. Okay? So the consultation is for you to see, for you and me to see that we're a great fit for our coaching, for the coaching program. Okay? So if you have any questions, I am going to check. I know some people have entered things into the chat box, some people have entered things into the q and a box, and I'm gonna make sure everyone gets their questions answered. Um, okay, I'm gonna first go through the chat and see if there are any questions here.
(17:22)
Okay? So Nikki is asking, there's self-advocacy debt, but I feel like women are not allowed to self-advocate, okay? Who made of these roles that women are not allowed to self-advocate? Okay? Um, so that's socialization. And I just wanna offer you, Nicky, that advocating for yourself using the strategies, I'm just gonna quickly come back here using, if you use these strategies, use these steps to advocate for your value. It's not about me, me, me. It's about how can I add more value to you, to the organization, to my employer, right? It's not about me, me, me. It's about how do I bring more value and get compensated better as a result of that, right? Cause you get compensated, uh, in a way that's according or commensurate with the value you bring. So think about it this way, your self-advocacy is an act of service because your boss gets to better understand how you are adding value.
(18:32)
Your boss gets to better understand how bigger value you can bring. Will your boss not like you? Maybe that is his problem. That is his personal problem, okay? But remember, this isn't about you. This isn't about you being liked. This is about you being respected for the value you bring. So my suggestion to you, Nikki, is put aside the fear of being unliked. We're always gonna be afraid of that, right? We always gonna, our brains always gonna be, you know, looking for ways to avoid social rejection. But if we do that, we place our locus of control outside of ourselves. We don't advocate for what we want. We don't advocate for the value. Our bo bosses don't understand the value we're bringing and the bigger value we can bring. So focus on how can I make this about the value and frame for that? Okay, Susie, okay.
(19:33)
Says, okay, Susie says, good talk. Thank you. Yes, Priyanka, that's right. Decide that you are in control. Um, kind of take a sip again. If you struggle with this and you are somebody, you're in the middle of a career. You want to, you really want to advance your career in a way, uh, that feels good, that feels authentic to you. You want to grow your career with confidence, right? You wanna internalize the locus of control. You wanna take back control. I wanna hear, I wanna help you. Okay? So again, you wanna have a better idea of how you can custom fit that process to your specific situation. Come to cannelly.com/slash jamie lee slash consult or check your inbox. I sent you an invitation to book your consult today. Okay? You're welcome, Emily. She says, thank you so much. Great reminder, reminder that I am never going to be comfortable asking for more. That's right. It's okay. Comfort is a fallacy. If it feels awkward, you're doing it right, Sarah, you're welcome. She says, great talk today. Okay, let me read this comment.
(21:06)
Okay. Sylvia asked a great question. She asked in an attempt to talk about it early and often, she wants to, you know, communicate her wins and often wins and wants ear early and often she scheduled regular check-ins, but they get canceled last minute. What should she do? She's unhappy with that. Here's a suggestion. Send them an email. Send them a regular email with three or five bullet points of, of your key accomplishments or what you want them to know and drop the need, drop the attachment that they should respond. They should be happy with it. They should tell you're doing a good job. Just, just send it, just send the email and just send it on a regular basis. And particularly if you've gotten specific feedback that you need to address a certain aspect or work on a certain skill, like tell them about how you are addressing exactly that feedback in those three to five bullet points.
(22:12)
Send it every week and just, just keep sending it. I know it's awkward. Keep doing it. Okay? And you will find out later that they read it and they appreciate it, right? You've, you've raised their awareness around how you are adding value. So if they cancel meetings with you last minute, send them an email, three to five bullet points. They don't need to respond, but just trust and believe they're gonna see it. And, uh, they're gonna be more aware of the value you bring. And the, and the beautiful thing about this is that if you do this consistently, now you have a paper trail, right? And by the time you go to have that evaluation, you could, you could just show them, you could like compile all the bullet points. Here are all the ways I have, I have accomplished, I have addressed the specific feedback you've given me. Yeah. So, yes, great question. And again, if you want more, uh, advice like this or you want strategies that work for you, you wanna be able to implement them to change the trajectory of your career from now until for the rest of your career. Let's chat. I invite you to consult with me today, candidly.com/jamie lee slash console. It's free. Okay? Uh, okay. You're welcome, Susie. You're welcome. Doris, you're welcome to Natalie. They say this was great, great presentation, HANA. You're, you're welcome. She says thank you, amazing presentation.
Jamie Lee (23:56):
If you enjoy this podcast, come to jamie lee coach.com, j a m i e l e e c o a c h.com to get your free ebook. How to ask for a big pay raise and get it. And if you want expert guidance in your corner to help you achieve greater self-confidence and greater career satisfaction as you grow your skills in negotiating, leading, and influencing as a woman professional, I invite you to book your free one-on-one sales call with me to find out how executive coaching can help you do exactly that. The link is in the show notes. Talk soon.