Jamie Lee (00:01):
Welcome to Negotiate your Career Growth. I'm Jamie Lee, and I teach you how to blend the best of negotiation strategies with feminist coaching so you get promoted and better paid without burning bridges or burning out in the process. Let's get started. We're going to talk about how to negotiate your salary by email. This episode is an expansion on a comment I added to a Facebook post in a Facebook group dedicated to alums of women's colleges here in the United States. I graduated from Smith College way back when, oh my goodness, 19 years ago. <laugh>, by the way, speaking of which, I'm going to be back on Smith campus. I'm so excited that in-person workshops are coming back and I'm going to be back on Smith campus for reunion weekend. That's happening in three weeks, in the third weekend of May. And if you are one of those special smoothies who will be attending Reunion weekend this year in 2023, don't be a stranger, come say hi and attend my in-person interactive workshop.
(01:12):
I'm going to be leading it with my colleague, Emily Jean Brown on Confident Networking. Emily Jean Brown is an embodied voice coach, and together we're going to be leading this really fun, interactive workshop that's gonna be on Saturday, May 20th at Alumni House on Smith College campus. What an honor it is. And also how ironic, because <laugh>, 20 years ago when I was a smpy who was about to enter the quote unquote real world, I used to roll my eyes to the high heavens whenever an alum or a career development counselor recommended networking as a career strategy. And so as I'm saying this out loud, I'm kind of having an out of body moment thinking about, what if I re-listen to this podcast like 19 years from now or in the future, and I realize, oh, think about all the things I was rolling my eyes at or thinking that's, ooh, sleazy or not fun.
(02:13):
And I'm gonna be like, oh yeah, now I'm all for it <laugh>, because here I am now 19 years later, I am gonna be back on campus teaching smithy's, teaching Smith alums, how to confidently articulate their professional value so that they can enhance their perceived value. And this is important because it creates leverage in career conversations. It helps you create valuable contacts and make headway in your career just as those alums, those career development counselors used to tell me 19 years ago. I went off on a bit of a tangent here. So if you wanna learn more about how to articulate your value, please check out episode number three of this podcast. Or come on over to my website, Jamie lee coach.com. I spell my name j a m i e. So the website is J A M I E L E E C O A C h.com.
(03:16):
And on my homepage, you can watch the full replay of my workshop Value Articulation Clinic. I know I could've put it behind a paywall or whatever, but I want as many people, I want as many professional women to benefit from learning how to articulate their value. Let's get back to the topic of today's podcast, how to Negotiate Your Salary by Email. So as I mentioned, this is an expansion on a comment, on a very longish comment. I'm like, this is an article, oh wait, this is an episode, this is a podcast episode. Someone in that Facebook group is pivoting in her career. She secured an offer from her dream nonprofit, but she had been working in academia and so she, so she never had to negotiate her salary. And so she was like, I, I don't know how to do this. I, I don't know how to do it correctly.
(04:15):
And here's the thing, she has an offer, you know, it's a dream job. But when she considered all of the details of the job, the base salary, the insurance, the perks, the travel required, the hours that she has to work, she realized that she'd actually be making less than what she's walking away from. So the all in compensation at the new offer at the new job is actually less than the all in compensation she's walking away from. And she just wants to break even. She says, so in this comment, I offered her step-by-step strategy with some sample language that she can use. And I fired it off kind of really quick right before I went to dinner the night before. And so today I am gonna walk you through a little bit deeper in more detail. I wanna explain the strategy and the mindset, the perspective that I'm offering.
(05:15):
And so in a nutshell, here are the five steps to negotiating your salary by email, especially if you've never done it before. Number one, approach it with the party. Invite mindset. I'll tell you more what that means. Number two, remind them of the awesome sauce you're bringing to this party. Number three, be real. Be honest, be human. Don't be a robot. Yeah, make it, make it transparent. And number four, be flexible. Offer options. And number five, there are very specific things that I wouldn't say that other people recommend when you negotiate your salary. And so I wanna walk you through some of those examples of what I wouldn't say and why. So number one, approach it with party invite mindset. Think about this. If you have been offered a job, this is an invite to an awesome party. We often don't think about our salaries, our jobs, our careers as a festival, as a party, right?
(06:23):
Instead, there is so much pressure to get it right. How do I do it this, right? How do I do it correct? How do I do it proper? Which just leaks all the joy, all the fun out of your careers, right? So let's turn it on its head. What if we considered the job offer as an exclusive invitation to a really fun, really special party? It's a party. So it's not life or death, it's a party. So it's not so serious. It's a party. So you can go to the party or you can stay home and watch Netflix or you can go find another party. You know, just like how you can stay at your current job, you can choose to take a career break or you can set up your own shop and work for yourself. It's a party and it's your decision, it's your career and it's your decision.
(07:18):
And also, let's keep in mind that parties are fun. They're supposed to be fun, but you know, throwing a really good party, if you ever thrown one, a cocktail party, a wedding party, a anniversary party, birthday party, surprise party, you know, they take effort. Just like how the recruiter, the hiring manager, and possibly the HR person, they put an effort to find, to interview, to select and then make you an offer. And they did it for a reason. They did it for a really good reason. So maybe you can think about the party like it's a small exclusive dinner party. And the guest list has to be just right, you know what I mean? Just like the right combination of folks, different interests, different personalities, different topics that can be discussed. And they want you play with me here. Imagine this. Think about your salary requirement or what you want to negotiate for.
(08:23):
Maybe it's just like a dietary restriction you have. I'm speaking from experience because I used to have all the dietary restrictions. I still have some, but at one point in my life it was very, very limited what I could eat. So anyways, I don't wanna get into that. Let's go back to talking about the salary negotiation in the metaphor of a party invitation. Here's what I'm getting at. You want to assume positive intent. You want to assume that the people who made you this offer. Now I'm gonna make a quick exception here, unless of course they explicitly said there is no negotiation unless they said that. Assume it is negotiable. Assume the offer is negotiable. Just like if they're really gracious hosts. And of course you want to go to a party hosted by gracious, open-minded, accommodating people, right? Who doesn't you assume they are.
(09:23):
You think about them as they are like that. And this is the reason why you are gonna tell them about your requirements because you know that if you tell them your requirements up front, everyone has a better time at this party. The hosts know how to accommodate you so that you feel welcome and invited and you, you know, you're gonna feel great. You're gonna feel, you know, comfortable to engage and engage in a lot of fun dialogue, conversation at this small, intimate, exclusive dinner party. And for this reason, when you negotiate your salary over email, here are two things that you wanna do. First, you wanna express enthusiasm and appreciation for the offer cuz the party hosts the potential employers. They need to know that you want to sign the offer. Yeah, we're gonna have a good time at this party. And that you're collaborative, that you're flexible, you're good party guest.
(10:26):
It's just that some details like, it's like a dietary restriction that you need to let them know ahead of time so that we can all have an even better time. And so from there, number two, you want to remind them of the awesome sauce that you are bringing to this party. Cuz everyone's bringing their version of awesome sauce. Whether that is their flair, what is whatever, even if that is their like special guacamole recipe, if that is like just your fun and unique personality or your expertise and the latest trends, you know, whatever makes you fun to be around, fun to talk to. Okay? And so for that reason, you're going to remind them of the awesome sauce that you are bringing. So I guess if we were to put it back into the realm of reality, what I'm saying is you want to reiterate the value of what you're offering.
(11:25):
Whether that is your skillset, your credentials, your potential, your connections, or your expertise, whatever. Even if you have already talked about this, you know, you feel like you talked your head off during the interview process, remind them, tell them one more time. And the reason we do this is strategic because this value is the reason they will increase the offer. Cause they want you to bring your awesome sauce to this really fun, special, unique party. So here's something that you can say, you can say something like, I appreciate the offer and I think this is a good place for us to start. I'm excited for this opportunity and I'm looking forward to bringing my skills and experience to help achieve the goals of your organization. So that's a very basic script and I recommend that if you want to adapt this, please do not use that script word for word.
(12:31):
Rewrite it in your own voice, rewrite it with very specific details that make you a compelling candidate. So let's go to number three. You wanna be real, be honest, be human, don't be a robot, don't be like an AI chat g p T. Yeah. And in this very specific situation, uh, that I was uh, providing some suggestions for, the person simply wanted to break even. She just wanted to not lose money taking this new job. So my suggestion is be transparent. Just tell them like it is. So here's another script that you can consider. What will make this decision easy for me is if the compensation can be improved so that it's on par or at it's, it's at least 20% more than what I'm walking away from. So just tell them like it is, you're being factual, you're being honest, you're being transparent, you're not being greedy.
(13:31):
It's just like telling the party host that you have a dietary restriction and this is how they can accommodate you. So we can all have a great time at the dinner party. Number four, I want you to be flexible in this conversation. Offer options cuz there are many different ways that the offer can be improved. Sometimes employers offer sign-on bonus. Sometimes they can offer you equity compensation. Sometimes they can offer you more PTOs. Sometimes you can revisit the job description or the level that you'll be entering at. These are some of the details that, uh, Jordan sale and I discussed in the previous episode. So if you missed that, go check that out. And you just wanna be flexible, you wanna say something like, Hey, I like to have a conversation with you about how this offer can be improved. Would that work for you?
(14:27):
Right? You're offering offer, you're inviting them to a conversation. So you are sort of assuming the gracious party host attitude as well. Number five, there are a few things that I just would not say in a salary negotiation that happens over email. Here are a few I would not ask. Is this negotiable? I would not say, can we negotiate now? And the reason for that is because I've done it. And that ended pretty disastrously for me. <laugh>, it was an immediate no, and I've just felt kind of embarrassed and then I realized I, I just sounded so naive. Like I, I didn't know what I was doing. Also, I think in our western culture, we have a tendency to have an aversion to negotiation, even though it is what we're doing when we're inviting people to conversations about compensation details. Yes, that's a negotiation obviously, but people just sort of, kind of get their backs up.
(15:30):
I think people's defenses go up. And here's another thing that has happened to me. Someone has used a script like this to me. <laugh>, yes, I teach negotiations. Somebody used try to use a negotiation script with me after we had already talked about the compensation details after the fact. This person wrote me an email and she's like, oh, you know, is this negotiable? I was like, what is this person thinking? I'm like, listen, we, we already have the negotiation, the conversation about the compensation detail that is a negotiation. In other words, when you're asking, is this negotiable? You're, you're really asking, is there room for improvement? So has that, instead of asking, is this negotiable? Number two, here's another thing that I just wouldn't say. I would not reply to an offer email with these words. I need this to be X so that I can sign this.
(16:30):
The reason why I wouldn't say I need this to be X otherwise I'm not signing. This is like, what is this a hold up? A seller Negotiation is not a hostage negotiation. You don't have to be hostile, you don't have to be making demands. I mean, I need this so that I can sign. This is a one-sided demand. And I don't think that is really effective because how you negotiate your salary, how you negotiate that offer and the other details of your job, it sort of sets the tenor of your working relationship. Uh, I think it was episode 26, I talked about three proven strategies, research back strategies that work for women. And one of them is highlighting the communal benefits. How you negotiating actually benefits the employer. And if I recall correctly, a script was, you know, I hope my negotiating this will, you know, demonstrates my ability to negotiate on the job on behalf of the employer, right?
(17:36):
So don't make sided demands like I need this. Don't do that. That I think that will leave sort of a bad taste in the mouths of people who are, um, on the other side of this email. Um, you also want to signal that you are somebody who can lead a conversation in a collaborative, open, flexible way. So that's my five steps to negotiating salary by email. Number one, approach it with party invite mindset. I know it's kind of a mind bender, but think about it. How might you respond to the offer if it was indeed an invite to an exclusive and really fun party? Number two, remind them of the awesome sauce you're bringing. You are bringing awesome sauce. If if they're talking to you, you have leverage. If they're making an offer to you, that means they want you. They, they see you and they think you are bringing awesome sauce.
(18:35):
So remind them of that. Articulate your value. In other words, number three, just be real. Be human. Don't be a bot. And number four, offer options. Invite them to a conversation. Be flexible. And you know, this flexibility is how you create creative solutions so that you and the other side can work together. And number five, I just wouldn't say, is this negotiable? Can we negotiate now? And I just wouldn't say, I need this to be X so that I can sign this. No <laugh> don't make demands. Okay. All right. I hope you found this helpful. And if you want support generating genuine confidence from the inside out so that you can advocate and negotiate and lead for you in your career, in your life, I invite you to book your free consultation with me. I teach my clients proven self-directed neuroplasticity tools that help them rewire their brain so that they can feel genuine confidence to negotiate and lead. I will talk to you soon,
Jamie Lee (19:37):
And if you want expert guidance in your corner o help you achieve greater self-confidence and greater career satisfaction as you grow your skills in negotiating, leading and influencing as a woman professional, I invite you to book your free one-on-one sales call with me to find out how executive coaching can help you do exactly that. The link is in the show notes. Talk soon.
