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Welcome to Risky Conversations. I'm Jamie Lee and I'm an executive coach for smart women who don't like office politics. I help them get promoted, get better paid without throwing anyone under the bus. And why risky conversations? Because everything that's worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation. And a risky conversation is often the question of whether you need to leave a job that is no longer a fit. Maybe your boss is toxic. Maybe you're underpaid. Maybe the stress is killing you. Maybe your caregiving duties are just pulling you apart on top of all of the work stress. And maybe you're just done. And maybe you've already tried negotiating for more for more support, and it's all gone nowhere. And here's what could be keeping you stuck. You don't know how to exit without burning bridges, tanking your finances, or sabotaging your next move because you want to do it safely. You want to do it in a way that's responsible. You have people depending on you. So the question is how do you leave a bad situation and actually land on your feet? What strategies, support, and resources do you need to negotiate before you promote yourself to CEO of your life, your career, and your own company. In this episode, I'm showing you exactly that. Two real women who exited toxic jobs, toxic jobs, and made it work. Not only did they made it work, they got better paid. One doubled her income right away, and another quadrupled her income by leaving to build her own company. And both knew exactly what to ask for and who to ask it from. These are my clients' stories, and their stories could be your roadmap as well. In the spirit of transparency, this is an excerpt from a training that I did earlier this year. And if you want to stay in the loop and not miss out on new trainings that are coming ahead for this year, come on over to jameleecoach.com. So let's dig in. Now let's talk about vote with your tribe. Vote with your tribe, three key disciplines. Politically savvy. If you hate political games, let's just be savvy about how you have conversations. You want to proactively meet with people who are stakeholders ahead of formal decisions. So I think this is most relevant if you are working within an organization with multiple people. Or you, as a business owner, you have to negotiate a multi-party negotiation where the decision to work with you is not just up to one person, it's up to a group of people. And most business negotiations are multi-party negotiations, right? So you want to make sure you proactively meet informally. So it's not like, okay, we're doing the deal now and this is where we're gonna cash it all out. No, it's not like that. You want to make sure you generate that rapport so you can pace and lead, so you can have more information, insight into the different people and their personalities and their in interests and their desires, right? And if you are asking for a raise, you want to make sure that at least 51% of the decision makers, so if it's a board of directors, you want to make sure at least 51% of the board of directors know that you want the job and that you're the best fit for it. So that by the time they get to the voting session, it's like a done deal. It's like, okay, this is just a formality. That's how politically savvy people negotiate. And what this means, you have to engage in conversations early and often. If your company is deciding their budget by August or September or October by Q3 of this year, now is the time. May, June, July is the time to get the ears of your allies, champions, sponsors so that they already know to plan ahead for your budget increase or the budget for your hires, so that you could have direct reports. And you could ask people around you to put in a good word for you, yeah, with the decision makers early and often, because self-advocacy is a service. It's not you being, you know, all about me and bragging. No, when you showcase your wins as you're being empathetic and pacing and leading, what you do is you help your tribe make better informed decisions, right? So they benefit as well. And you just tell them this is what's gonna happen. When you know, when I have the budget, when I'm promoted to leadership, or when we win the contract, this is how you benefit. And when you tell people, when you lead with the benefits, your self-advocacy is an act of service and your negotiation goes so much smoother, and people are happier that they negotiated with you. So my client Jen, she is a powerhouse. And at first, when she reached out to me for coaching, she was highly regarded as a media trainer, but she was only earning 60% of her gross revenue because of a legacy contract with a person that she considered her boss, her mentor. And, you know, actually, the funny thing is contractually, this person wasn't really her boss, but she was working as an agent under an agency. And this person that she had once considered her boss was toxic, abusive. And he he was just making decisions that she would not consider ethical in the business, but she felt obligated to stay because this person had taught her the she they had shown her the ropes in the industry, and she felt afraid to rock the boat. And she came to me, she's like, How do I negotiate this? And I told her, Why? Why negotiate with this toxic abusive boss? Why you can be your own boss and you can make 100% of your income. And she's like, I can. I said, Yes, you can. She was worried that she wouldn't cut it. So I said, Well, aren't you sick and tired of seeing people who are less talented, who are working less hard than you, get more money? And she's like, Yeah. And so in coaching, here's what we did: we did vote with your tribe. I suggested she leveraged the rule of 51% and she engaged her key stakeholders, the people who sought her out, not because she worked for this terrible man, but because she was good. She is good, right? So she ensured that she got in the ears and she uh enlisted her trusted allies and clients for support early before she did the exit. And what this did was she was able to nimbly navigate the fine prints of her non-solicitation clause in her contract. So she didn't break any laws, she didn't rock the boat, she didn't have to get into a you know a battle with this terrible, unethical person. She just reclaimed her sovereignty and she owned her mastery. And as a result, she was able to double her income right off the bat, and she's fully booked. She's so busy, I haven't been able to get her on my podcast, you know, she's making more money. So that's possible for you too. When you vote for yourself, vote with your tribe. So let's go to the third one. Vote with your feet. We've been sort of talking about this all throughout, but what does it really mean? First, we do a same page audit. In other words, are we really on the same page with this particular organization, boss, or even a client? Are we on the same page here? And are we aligned? Are they headed up, down, or flat? And if they're going in either of those, any of those directions, up, down, or flat, do I want to go there with them? Do I want to head there too? Ask yourself that, right? And we've also been talking about this all throughout. It's like we create the sovereignty fund, you create financial independence. So it's not just tied to one employer or the opinion of a boss who's biased against women or minorities. Yeah. Instead, you you leverage your network, you find people you already know, like, and trust, and have them become your pain clients. That's what Jen did, that's what I did. Yeah. And you can upskill as CEO, shift from mentee or student mindset to an executive mindset, sovereign mindset, internalized locus of control mindset, and holding yourself accountable to your own strategic goals. So here's my client, Grace. We did this podcast episode early. So it's episode number 17. And before, when she first reached out to me, she was a burnt-out entrepreneur who returned to the workforce because she's like, Oh, I burnt out so much, you know, is my own boss. So I went back to the workforce and I'm miserable again. I don't know why. And she's running circles around people above her pay grade. And here's what this means she was over-delivering. Every performance metric they said for her, she exceeded it. Yeah. And yet, because the managers weren't as competent as her, they were micromanaging her. And she felt frustrated. And she ended up internalizing some of those negative opinions from toxic people around her, that's her words. And she found herself hustling out of spite. You know, like when people get stressed, when when women, actually, all people, when you get into a stress reaction, one of the stress reactions is overperforming, overdoing, like not being able to stop. So that she was in that stress cycle. And then she found out she was underpaid her peers, even though she was bringing in more money to the firm and she was overperforming her metrics. And she had ideas. She had ideas for her life, she had ideas for her career, and she wasn't taking action in them. And that's when she reached out to me. So through coaching, she stopped hustling after she realized that her employer's limited vision could not recognize a profitable idea when they see it. And they just were so biased that they were incapable of seeing value. And she, so the first the first thing that happened is she decoupled her work from their underestimation because they were wrong, and she built self-confidence in herself. And then she negotiated. I showed her this framework of pacing and leading, leading with empathy, and also expecting objections ahead of time. And then she took it all the way to, you know what? I'm gonna take that, I'm gonna run with it. I'm going to tell my CEO that he should just go find out how much more they can pay me so that I eliminate the objection altogether. So she negotiated pay raise by assigning work to her boss. That's right. That's right. And she got the pay raise. And then she realized I can do better than these people. And in fact, she had a great, brilliant business idea, and she immediately saw that this was a seven-figure business idea. She's a technical project manager, and she brought it up to the CEO. And then they were like, nah, it's not gonna work. And that's when she realized they really can't see value. And she decided to build on that rejected business idea herself. And the results speak for themselves. You know, she she had quadrupled her salary. And then the first, when the first, like, I mean, not everyone's going to have this kind of result. I'm I'm mindful of that, but I think it's also really inspiring to see what is possible when you bring back that locus of control and you step into a sovereign mindset. So, in summary, vote for yourself, objectively assess your future potential, get grounded in what's authentic to you. And what that means is think about who you're becoming, not who you had been or how you have been socialized or conditioned to think. Build self-confidence. Bring that locus of control inside. And when you do that, you build trust with yourself and you build trust with other people around you that you already know, like, and trust. Vote with your tribe, engage them early and often because self-advocacy is an act of service. When I first started out as a coach, my first clients were my friends. And you know, they still refer me clients 10 years in. Yeah. And for my client Jen, her first clients were her former clients. And for Grace, her first clients were her former clients. Yeah. So what this shows is like the tribe is not that far away. They're just right there. Yeah. And when you engage them and you show them what's possible by pacing and leading, what happens is you add to the credibility that's already there and you build leverage while helping and benefiting others. You vote with your feet. Your right to exit is your ultimate leverage. We all know that. You know, your willingness to walk away, that's your biggest leverage. And you could use that, and you can vote with your feet. If the people you work with truly cannot see value or they're so biased that they're just, you know, shooting themselves in the foot, basically, which unfortunately a lot of business leaders are doing these days, right? By eliminating support for women in the workplace. So you build a sovereign fund, you build CEO skills, you build a career of life and freedom. So that is what's possible. And in the last five minutes, I know you know we're almost wrapping up. You know, some of you are gonna be like, that was cool, that was cool for them. Like these are great ideas, but I know that. Already know that that's that's good to know, but I don't know, it's not for me. Or like, I know, but so many things can come up, and I don't know if I can do it, right? So some of you may you know see this and think I can wait on taking action. And some of you are like, Yes, I see this, it resonates, and I'm ready to take action because I know that every day that I let pass by where I don't step into my sovereignty, where I don't vote for myself, where I don't vote with my tribe, where I don't vote with my feet, is another day that I wait, is another day that I let the Tiara syndrome eat away at my wages or leave money on the table because I didn't build confidence in myself and I didn't choose the people who already know, like, and trust me and want to support me. And I didn't choose to internalize that locus of control. So, for those of you, I invite you to book a free consultation with me. And what's gonna happen in this consult is hour long, we're going to co-create your custom coaching solution because the framework is brought on purpose and we custom we like bespoke, custom tailor it to your unique situation with your unique tangible action steps. And we're also going to clear the shoulds, you know, the shoulds that end up having us feeling like we're in a whirlwind, you know, the the before of the locus of control slide where you're like, oh, right. We're going to identify and shift the exact socialized noise and self-defeating habits that are keeping you stuck or underpaid. And I will help you in this hour to map your sovereignty roadmap so you leave with a specific prescription to take these steps with calm, poised confidence. And we'll talk about working with me one-on-one. Only if the solution, the custom solution, is a slam down fit for you. And these spots are filling fast. I have a couple of spots available. And if you go to calendly.com slash Jamie Lee slash consult, and you should also have gotten an email in your inbox with the link. You can book your free hour-long consult with me. In summary, my client Jen figured out how to claim her value and grow her confidence and get better paid. And so did Grace. She figured out when to walk and why. And what happened next transformed everything in her career. Both Jen and Grace made sovereign choices and both got bolder, braver, and better paid. And they created companies that they can shape to fit the life that they wanted. And here's what they had in common: they stopped waiting for permission from their bosses, from their company, from the economy, from the people who came before them. They started treating their own careers like they mattered because they do. If you want to hear the full details of Grace's 4X income jump and her journey from being, you know, a minimum wage worker to CEO of her own fast-growing consultancy. We did a podcast episode on that win. And you can you can find that episode in the show notes. Your story, your exit negotiation success story could be next. Maybe you need to vote for yourself before you can vote with your tribe. Maybe you're ready to start thinking about your exit today. Maybe you're ready to start thinking about how to vote with your feet strategically with a plan, just like Grace, just like Jen. And maybe you're somewhere in between. There is no right or wrong answer, they're only your answers because again, this is about sovereignty, making choices that work for you. If you're ready to think about clarifying your answer, your sovereign choices, and you're ready to think about negotiation, whether they're exit negotiations or pay negotiations or promotion negotiations, if you're ready to get supported to create slam dunk wins for you, I invite you to book your free consultation with me today. The link to book that consultation is in the show notes. Together, we're going to design your sovereignty roadmap. One hour free consultation, and you leave with a concrete action plan for your unique situation. And you'll know whether or not working with me would also be a slam dunk fit. Thanks for being here for this whole series, part one, two, and three. And thanks for having risky conversations with yourself and with the people who matter. Why? Because everything worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation. We'll talk soon.