Jamie Lee (00:00):
Welcome to Negotiate your Career Growth. I'm Jamie Lee, and I teach you how to blend the best of negotiation strategies with feminist coaching so you get promoted and better paid without burning bridges or burning out in the process. Let's get started.
(00:15)
Hello. Hello, hello. I am so excited to share the special series of podcasts that I'm doing on how to get better paid. I know if you're listening to this, you have a desire to learn how to do this the smart way, not the hard way, and that is exactly what you're going to learn. You're going to learn proven strategies that have helped me and my paying clients improve their income, negotiate and earn tens of thousands more, sometimes hundreds of thousand dollars more in annual income. And in fact, this was a free, totally free event that I did earlier this year, and attendees reported back to me that they applied the principles and the tools that I taught them and ended up negotiating for tens of thousands of dollars more in their income as well. This is totally available and possible for you too. I'm so excited to share with you.
(01:11)
You could actually watch the replay of this webinar. The YouTube link will be in the show notes. But for those of you who tend to be more auditory listeners and learners, I thought this podcast will be a great way for you to learn, apply, and generate new, bigger results in your career and in your life. I hope you enjoy, and if you like, please do share, subscribe, and enjoy. This is part two of how to get Better Paid. If you missed part one, make sure you go back and listen to episode eight. Here it is,
Jamie Lee (01:53):
Your salary, what you get paid is just a slice. It's just a fraction of the total value of your contributions. This is the truth that they never taught us in school. This is the truth that HR never talks about. They don't teach this in, in, in our workplace either. What you get paid is a fraction of the total value of your contributions. In other words, what you get paid is not what you are worth. Somebody asked me, how do I get paid what I'm worth? You're not gonna get paid what you're worth cause it's not about you. It's about the value of your contributions and value. What is value? Value is not time or effort. Okay? Can I ask for a race if I'm working part-time? Of course you can. It's not about time or effort. Value is the usefulness of your contributions. Value is how, how useful, how beneficial is your contribution in the context of what your employer, your client, your customer wants to achieve?
(03:07)
Okay? So you don't have to work more. You don't have to work any harder to get better paid. In fact, you do not get better paid for working hard. You do not get better paid for working long hours. The truth is you've already been paid for what you've done. You get paid better. You get paid better when they, when the employer have a clear understanding of the value of your future contributions, right? Getting paid, getting better, paid is about the future value of your contributions. There go, you want to grow this pie. That is the task of a salary negotiation. That is the mission. So you start with the whole pie. You don't start with the slice, okay? You don't start with, I'm getting paid X amount for doing X, Y, and Z, right? That is like transactional, uh, fixed pie mindset. Like win lose negotiation mindset.
(04:13)
No, you start with the whole pie with the value of your contributions and therefore you start way ahead of the money talk. Chris Vo, a negotiation expert who used to train FBI hostage negotiators, says that the most dangerous negotiation is the one you don't even realize. You're at negotiation process for getting better paid starts before the money talks. And I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you exactly how to have a better understanding of your value and how to start way ahead of the money tops today. Here are the simple steps. Number one, you take stock, you take stock of your contributions, you take stock of facts, you, you've prepare because you always fall to the highest level of your preparation. Number two, you make decisions ahead of time. So important, so important because negotiation is simply a conversation to arrive at a mutual decision and the person who is most decided wins.
(05:23)
So you wanna come prepared, you taken stock, you wanna come, have made decisions ahead of time. And of course you gotta have conversations, but you gotta have many types of conversations early and often people think that negotiation, salary negotiation is just one conversation, one off thing. No, it is a process. And you wanna anchor. You wanna tell them what you want. And when you encounter pushback, you get curious, not furious. I'm gonna dive into each of these steps, okay? Number one, take stock of your contributions. Now, smart, competent women, we love, we love to get things done, which means that we over focus on the, on the immediacy, what got done. And now we love to jump ahead to like what else needs to get done, what hasn't got gotten, what hasn't yet gotten done, right? So we gotta slow our role. We gotta take a pause, a strategic pause, make a list.
(06:24)
I just coached a client who is negotiating for her raise and promotion and her homework. Make a list of her contributions. Make a list of your accomplishments, your wins. What are you accomplish accomplishing? Okay? And the reason for this, I'm just gonna take a step back here. The reason for why we take stock of your, of your contributions is that when we're in comfort, fallacy, tiara syndrome, perfectionist fantasy, you are in effect, biased against your own value. You don't have an objective perspective on the value you bring. You don't see the whole pie. Like this is the whole pie, right? And you don't see it. So you, you gotta, you gotta develop value, focus, right? This is the solution to overcoming the pitfalls. You gotta develop your value focus. And that starts with first asking yourself, what am I accomplishing? How am I contributing? Make a list.
(07:35)
You can start this today, okay? But this is just, just the tiny.in this whole pie. So you gotta grow this, this perspective, how you see your value. So then how do you grow? We wanna get to beyond value, the beyond benefit of your contributions. And how do we get there? Ask yourself what becomes possible now, now that I have accomplished these things, you have a list, right? And what becomes possible now for them, for my employer, for my stakeholders, for customers, for clients, what becomes possible now, but that also only gives you a partial view of your total value. So again, we wanna expand the pie. You have to see your, your total value. And so then we go to future value. What else becomes possible in the future? Because of what I've accomplished and how do I wanna grow my value? Let me give you a very specific example.
(08:44)
Software engineers, immediate accomplishment. I fixed the bug, it's done, got done. There will always be more things to do. There will always be more bugs. Okay, got done. Great. This is a win. But now we wanna understand the beyond benefit. What becomes possible now that the bug is fixed, now that the bug is fixed. Fixed product can launch on time. Clients can be happy with on time launch with pro of product, with no bugs. Right? Now we have on time launch happy products. Great, this is valuable. This is very valuable to the employer. That's what they wanna know. That's what they wanna hear. Okay? But we wanna grow your pie. So what else becomes possible? Okay, product launch, happy customers, what else becomes possible? Our team grows its credibility and our reliability for getting things done and doing it well. What else becomes possible? Now we can attract even better talent into our team, even better, uh, engineering talent, okay?
(09:51)
And how do I wanna grow? Do I want to be fixing more bugs or do I wanna be a senior engineer, uh, uh, engineering manager? Do I want to be staff engineer and you know, either architect more products or, or, um, be part of strategic thinking? How do I wanna grow, right? So you gotta take stuff of your contributions this way and grow how you see your own value. Cause it's way bigger than just getting things done. So important. Okay? So once you have value focus, you wanna know how does this play out in a negotiation? So thing that you wanna understand, what are their goals and priorities? What is the value I'm bringing and what is the value I will bring, right? This encompasses both immediate beyond and then future value. And then what is the growth that you want? So before, before I address this, let's also take note, you also wanna take stock of what do they want?
(11:00)
What are their goals and priorities? What are possible pay ranges and policies? What are non-cash compensation in addition to the salary, right? You want, you wanna take stock, all of that. This is a homework that you wanna do ahead of negotiating your salary, but inside the context of Sal salary negotiation, here's how this plays out. You want to find, see this overlap the sweet spot. And you wanna make sure you address each of these three things. So you say, I understand your goals and priorities are X, y, and z. I've done my homework, I understand and I'm confident I will add value with my skillset, my background, and here's how I will add value. Here are some su some suggested solutions. Okay? I would like to be compensated according to the value I bring. There go, I'm asking for X. Okay? So we'll revisit this, but that's how you ask for better pay and get it without overworking.
(12:05)
But let's take note, some of these decisions you wanna make sure you make before, during, after, throughout the negotiation process, which is that you are enough. Remember, the salary is not a reflection of your self worth. It is not a reflection of personal worth. You, yourself, your worth is separate. Your self worth is separate, and it is sacc. I I I'm a spiritual person. I believe that your worth is divine. Is is sacc sacred cannot be negotiated. Okay? You are enough. Whether you ask for better pay, whether you don't or you do, whether they push back, whether you get it or not, you are enough. You've done enough, you've done enough. Perfectionist fantasy, TRS syndrome, comfort fallacy. They'll tempt you into thinking, I haven't done enough. I, I don't know enough, I don't have enough to ask. But the most important decision that you're gonna make for yourself is that you are enough.
(13:18)
I have done enough to to, to know that my contributions are valuable as is. Even if you don't have a job right now or if even if you are switching jobs, you can choose. You can decide for yourself to believe that your future contributions will be valuable. And these are the most important decisions that you will make, that will lead to self-confidence, that will help you stay strong in the negotiation process. Because not every negotiation process is going to be easy. You will encounter surprises, you will encounter pushback. The stronger you are in these decisions, the stronger you are throughout the process, the better you signal your confidence, your leadership and better you will achieve the results you want. Decisions unlock power. And so you wanna decide who do I wanna become? How do I want to grow? How do I wanna show up? How much more money do I want to make?
(14:20)
It is safe for you to make a decision about how much more money you, you make, it's safe. Even if you don't get it. Making that decision will be a pivotal growth for your career. Because once you make that decision, you make that you're north star and you work towards it. Okay? And, and this is a concept that really helped me understand the power of making a decision of how much more I wanna make and the power of making a decision to engage, to initiate, to ask for what I want. It's called locus of control, not, not the bug, it's l o c u s. Where is the control located? Like this circle this time is I want you to think about as the context of your life. In your life. Where is control? Is the locus of control internal? Do you have it? Are you telling yourself, I'm in control of my career?
(15:21)
Right? And when you do that, that is what activates the leadership, your willingness to initiate the conversation and ask for what you want. This is what unlocks yourself confidence to take that risk. And this is what creates courage to do it. Even when it feels totally awkward and uncomfortable. And I've been in this situation, I hope you can, it says, I don't have control when the locus of control feels to be external, right? A perception that you are not in control. When you're in comfort fallacy, when you need everyone else to feel comfortable, you are not in control. When you think that somebody else should be rewarding you and that they, you shouldn't even have to ask. You are not in control. When you're in perfectionist fantasy, you're, you're placing that standard of excellence to be outside of you. You're not the one who decides that I've done enough.
(16:14)
I'm good enough. So then locus of control exists outside of you. You don't have control. You feel powerless, you feel not great, you don't feel confident. You don't have the courage to negotiate and therefore decide, decide you are in control. This was the decision that changed everything for me, that helped me to start asking for what I want after that hedge fund experience. Me just deciding I'm in control of my career, I'm gonna start asking. And once I start asking, I start making more. And so will you. Okay? So next up conversations, negotiation is, again, not just some one off conversation you have, it is a series of conversations, especially for those of you who want to get promoted, better paid. You want to become more, um, a better leader. You want to create, um, leadership and you want to, you want to grow, right?
(17:17)
You gotta have conversations early and often. And if you've never negotiated for yourself, even though you're really good at what you do, I encourage you to build on steps one and two. In other words, take stock of your contributions, make decisions about how you want to grow, and then start seeding the idea that you want to grow, that you want to get promoted early and often you've never negotiated before. Start sharing your wins, your accomplishments, they're just facts. And you share facts. It is not bragging early and often, at least three to six months ahead of the performance evaluation cycle, the race cycle, you know, some companies have them and if you, you know that you gotta front run this because by the time the evaluation comes around, decisions have already been made. So you wanna be able to influence the decision ahead of time. Communicate wins and wants. That is how you pay down your self-advocacy debt by accruing self-advocacy wins. And you wanna leverage interdependence because let me just take a sip and I'll be right back.
(18:34)
Interdependence, because everyone, everyone's jobs, our careers are interdependent on each other. On your boss, your colleagues stakeholder, your skip level boss, your coworker, like there is interdependence here, okay? Leverage that, use that to your advantage. And here's why. If you want to ask for better pay, usually that decision gets made behind closed doors, you know, among people who are making decision, maybe it's one, but usually it's more than one person and you wanna be able to influence their decision making ahead of time, right? Ahead. And that's why you have conversations early and often. You start talking with your stakeholders, your mentor, your colleague or, or maybe your skip level boss. You know, people who are decision makers and people who influence those decision makers. You, you know, some of them you know, and like some of them, you know, and trust some of them. Start with them.
(19:36)
Start seeding the idea. I like to get promoted. I'm invested in growing here and here are some of my wins, right? And here's how I'd like to grow. What are your thoughts about that? What do you suggest? Right? And so you plant the idea, you have that conversation early and often it's gonna be very awkward. You're gonna be doing it right when it feels awkward because you wanna have at least 51% of the people who make that decision behind closed doors. You want 51% already familiar with you, already familiar with the idea that you are bringing value and that you want to grow. They don't promote you. They don't give you more pay if they don't know that you wanna grow. So you gotta have conversations early and often.
Jamie Lee (20:26):
If you enjoy this podcast, come to jamie lee coach.com, J A M I e L E E C O A c h.com to get your free ebook. How to ask for a big pay raise and get it. And if you want expert guidance in your corner to help you achieve greater self-confidence and greater career satisfaction as you grow your skills in negotiating, leading, and influencing as a woman professional, I invite you to book your free one-on-one sales call with me to find out how executive coaching can help you do exactly that. The link is in the show notes, talk soon.
